First impression: mentioning Bruce Willis and Die Hard has endreared me to this quiet, bashful young lady. But she seems unclear on the plot of Die Hard, as Bruce doesn’t actually die. Maybe she means that “for your love I’d fight a bunch of Germans with semi-automatic weapons who are holding someone I love hostage and try to steal bonds, and then I'd go on a scavenger hunt with Samuel L Jackson to try to save a bunch of kids and someone I love, and lastly I'd save a plane from mercenaries who have taken over a flight and plan to crash it with someone I love on board.” Her way is catchier, but I feel my way is less ambiguous as to Minaj’s meaning.
Second impression: she had a terrible mother. She says he’s a candy store and she’s a toddler, implying she, the toddler, would like candy. I don’t know what her mother was feeding her, but toddlers need vitamins, not Fun Dip. This development may explain Minaj’s frenetic “rap” style. She’s been hooked on “sugar” since before she could walk (she does say “you got me wantin mo mo mo”. Sounds like the behavior of an addict to me.
Minaj’s goes on to describe the man for whom she pines. He wears tags on his shirts, wears a hat and a du rag, and goes to the gym. She says she met him sometime before, either in a past life or a little while ago in the studio. So far she has given me nothing to go on to figure out who this guy is. She says she is ready to save him and she is the one like Tracy McGrady. Always the Die Hard (see what I did there?) basketball fan, Minaj has artfully injected visions of two again, decrepit former all-stars: Shaq and T-Mac. We can only assume her man has some of the qualities these two possess: riches, bad knees, bad back, lots of jewelry, nicknames, a leanring diability, bad rapping skills, a weight problem, an easily impersonable voice, and/or a name that makes you hungry. This could still desribe thousands of men. Let’s see if the next verse gives us SOME sort of insight.
We now know that the reason he’s like T-Mac is because he has lots of money ($28 million for playing 30 games last year alone). He makes her scream like summer jam (?) and is from the motherland. According to her Wikipedia page, Minaj is of afro-Trinidadian and indo-trinidadian descent. So the motherland could be Africa or Trinidad. she says she met him in the swai, obviously referring to the swai shark, native to asia. This is confirmed when she says she was a Geisha and he a sumurai. We can now infer that the motherland refers to Trinidad, and her man is Asian, because he speaks Thai, is a sumurai, loves swai, and is the most rhyming man in the world. She again mentions that she is Superman and says she changed her name. We are left unsure as to the name on the certifcate, but my money says it rhymes with Sbruce Swillis or Sclark Skent.
In the end, we are left with more questions than answers. How does a sumarai speak Thai? Japan was very rigid in those days about fraternization with Thai people. Why does a toddler crave candy like a crack addict? WHat's Nicki Minaj's name going to be? Nicki Ochocinco? Does Nicki Minaj get surgery and change her identity into that of a man? If so, is the boy she’s singing about actually a girl? This leads to more questions. Is this like Mulan, and a girl became a sumuari without the knowledge of the Japanese? And then there’s the verse about Adam and Eve, which I have skipped due to its sensitive and controversial nature. If we are to believe that the singer and his/her guy/gal are Asian, is this some commentary on reincarnation? Are we to beleive that we could all have been different races before this life? Does my urge to drive badly and eat Pho mean I was Asian in a past life? Does my affinity for Ecko clothes and Timbalands (and the fact that I totally rock em) mean I'm part black too? I hope so. I'm getting tired of the awkward looks/glances/beatings.
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