First impressions: He wants to hear her echo. Either they are heving sex in a cave (or large closet) or he wants her to repeat what he's saying. What guy doesn't want his girl to grunt like a caveman. Gone are the sexy moans.
The intro is very interesting. He says that his girl does not have to clock in today. He has been considerate enough to call her boss and say she ain't coming in today (but she is, presumably, still coming today). This is a nice gesture by a husband who wants to give his woman a day off. After all, she is apparently the breadwinner, as he did not have to call into work for the day off. The problem is, though, that he is not her husband, and there may be more selfish motives for his call. he says she should "pack a bag and come to my place" for "sex in the morning[and] sex all day." I can only imagine the awkward call from R to the woman's boss. I'm sure it raised more questions than answers for the bass. Who is calling in? Why does she need the day off? Does sex all day qualify for sick leave?
In completely unnecessary detail, R now tells her what to do once she gets to the house. She should 1) not hesitate, 2) don't wait, 3) drop her bags, 4) get herself a drink, 5) find the box with a surprise in it for her (next to the sink), and 6) come in the bedroom for sex all day. This reminds me a little of To Catch a Predator where the unsuspecting visitor goes through the house and doesn't realize what's going on until it's too late. Given the subtlety of the song, the box either contains lube, a sheepskin condom, or an IOU for romance. He smooth talks her into his bed, with gems suck as "wanna fuck you like crazy," "hope you're ready to go all day," and "I hope you're ready to scream and moan." I was with him until scream. Given the creepiness of this song so far, I'm more a little suspicious that those screams are of pain, not passion.
HYe then goes into the true heart of this masterpiece: I want to hear your echo. To add an extra layer to the painting, he yodels to demonstrate what an echo sounds like. Now, if you're like me, you're still confused. What is an echo? What is yodeling? Questions demand answers. Luckily, R has you covered. If it helps, imagine a mountain. That's what R does. We know this because whenever he mentions the word echo in the video, he is on top of a mountain. We now see that he is not having sex in a cave or closet. Rather, he is on top of a mountain. And, we can surmise, he wants his girl to yodel and echo for him.
In true R Kelly fashion, there is more (completely unnecessary) detail to come. He says he's working it up and down like a roller coaster. Reminds me of snake sex. He then says he digs his nails into her spine. Really? I honestly think this song will someday be admitted as evidence in a murder trial. Luckily, he gives the roller coaster a break after round 10. During this break, the ever-gentlemanly Kelly let's her up, lets her breathe, lets her wash her face and get something to eat. This is an excellent example of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Her most basic need, of course, is sex all day. Second is the need to be let up. Third is breathing, fourth is cleanliness, and fifth is nourishment. Yep, it's all there. This song has a strong theoretical base, and because of that it truly flourishes.
R then says that because the girl is screaming so much, it sounds like she is on a mountain top. Because as everyone knows, you only scream atop mountains. He also mentions that they are going to go to heaven if they keeping coming. R seems to think that by being physically closer to heaven, it increases his chances to go to heaven. I guess he is hoping that the bible was kidding about the whole no premarital sex thing.
The rest of the song is mostly the same imagery and empty promises of prolonged loving. This song may as well be called Birthday Sex 2, because it is just as genius as Jeremiah's anthem. R successfully convinces this woman that this day is a romantic day away from the office. But let's recap the day. This woman, is obliviously preparing for work when she gets a call from R. He says to come over, pack a bag, and prepare for sex. Also, he went ahead and called her boss and told him that this woman will be busy for the day and won't be in to the office. He then sends her on a terrible treasure hunt which ends with her in his bedroom. She is most likely wondering what's going on, and instead of an explanation, Kelly gives her a terrible mountain metaphor and proceeds to have a lot of, let's be honest, most likely mediocre sex all day. He needs to realize that sometimes quality is better than quantity. Keep that in mind next time you are about to release your 11th album, and the best you have to offer is bad sex all day. I'm looking at you, R.
