Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus

First impressions: she's on a plane, so she's obviously high class. She's not from LA, she's obviously not high class. This song makes no sense already, but I'll go with it. She's driving by the Hollywood sign and it's on her left, she's likely going down Hwy 405. When the sign is directly to her left (as she alludes to in the song) she would be at Los Angeles National Cemetery. Thus, we can conclude that she is in town for a funeral. Judging by the song so far, it may be the death of music as we know it. At the funeral, there are many famous people. Since Los Angeles National Cemetary is primarily for veterans, we can conclude nothing about the identity of the dead man. Her tummy's hurting, probably because she is so blackout drunk at the funeral that she just can't hold it in anymore (her emotions).

She skips past the details of the funeral, most likely because she doesn't remember much else, and she's back in a taxi. I'm leaning toward low-class again, but who knows. This taxi has a radio. She listens to 3 Jay-Z songs. Apparantly, she got the only taxi driver in history who is younger than 30 and also not really, really, into Middle-Eastern Folk-pop. After getting drunk at the funeral, her inhibitions are gone. The butterflies in her stomach are gone, as she avoided a hangover by drinking continually. She starts acting like a crazy in the back of a taxi. I think I saw this on Taxi Cab Confessions. This is about to get good.

The Jay-Z song is hers. If she is listening to earlier Jay-Z, which I am asusming she is, then Jay-Z songs are owned by Universal Studios. Thus, we can infer the singer of this song is the daughter of the owner of Universal. Maybe he is the one who died, and thus the songs become the propoerty of this singer. When she realizes all she has inhereted, the thoughts of this fortune quell her anxiety. She is a money-grubbing bitch, who quite possibly killed her own father for music rights. She is now so ecstatic (and drunk) that she thinks she is at a party. Not wanting to upset her, the taxi-driver brings her to a real party.

At the club, she is wearing shoes (rocking kicks). This is unusual for people in LA, apparantly, as she is quickly spotted to be an outsider. The singer wishes he/she had girls around him/her, and the result of thinking about said girls, along with alcohol, has made him/her hard. I am so confused right now. I do not know if the singer is a man or a woman, so I will refer to he/she as "it" until I know which one it is.

It mentions its tummy a second time, only this time its tummy hurts. It is apparantly nervous, drunk, alone, and in the 3rd grade. Seriously, tummy? But then, in a crazy turn of events, the DJ puts a Britney Spears song on. And all is good.

They're still playing her song, and it's still ok.

It apparantly also owns this song, as it says the song is its. This means it somehow also owns RCA records, who owns the rights to Spears' songs. It most likely recently purchased RCA to make a mega-conglomerate. This event was most likely left out of the song as mergers are a very touchy subject, and often require many hours of tiring, boring negotiations. Having completed its business in LA, it mulls over its options. It always decides to stay in LA, as the DJ always plays songs it owns. This reminds me of a bad Godzilla ripoff I saw on SyFy in which the town lulled a giant monster to sleep by playing a certain melody. If they ever stopped playing it, the monster would wake up and destroy the town. I assume the people of LA saw this movie and are applying the same tactics to Miley-zilla.

The plan seems to have worked, as Miley-zilla is happy for 4 more stanzas, and eventually fades out, presumably into an eternal slumber.

In the end, we are left with more questions than answers. Who's funeral was it? Do the townspeople kill Miley-zilla in her sleep? Why does a multi-millionaire drive in taxis? We never get the answers, but I think that is the geniius of this tale of hometown heroism and David vs Goliath results.